Louder Than Thunder
by jmojellybean
Summary: I can't stand what she's doing to me, but I can feel the air inside my lungs again. I can rebuild my life and start again, all because of her. All because of Tori. ;Jade/Tori;
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay so this is my very first Fanfiction (yikes) And I hope to make it a good one. Please review and tell me why it sucks and I will fix it! The story will switch from Jade and Tori's POV so keep an eye on the change! Rated M for future chapters…yes…yes. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Victorious…sniffle**

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**/Jade/**

A violent shiver snakes up my spine and jerks me awake. I've fall asleep in Sikowitz's class…again. I blink a few times to regain focus of my surroundings.

"Ah, Jade. Did we wake you from your little nappy nap?"

I roll my eyes at Sikowitz. I usually enjoy his class, but lately it's becoming more of a bother. I pinch the bridge of my nose, and yawn loudly. This is probably the 4th time I've fallen asleep in class this week. Sikowitz eyes me down for a few seconds, and then continues to whatever he was talking about. I shift my body a little, sitting up straight and I cross my arms in front of my chest, trying to pay attention. Luckily, I scare Sikowitz enough to where he doesn't even _try_ to discipline me. I found this to be a good thing, or else I would have been have gotten a million detentions by now.

"Stop falling asleep, Jade!" Cat whispers behind me. I turn my body to look at her. I squint my eyes and make a face that has "shut up" written all over it. She squeaks, and covers her mouth with both hands. I smirk and twist back around. I'm pretty good at communicating with my eyes. Beck has always told me I have the uncanny ability to smile with my eyes.

Beck…

I slide down in my seat. I nearly forgot it has been almost 3 weeks since we broke up. He embarrassed me entirely at Tori's house that day we weren't invited to play cards. It's not like I cared about not being invited, but Beck had the nerve to just…let me go, and walk away in front of everyone, making me look so stupid. I carefully look around the room, to find Beck. Robbie is sitting quietly with Rex, listening intently at Sikowitz. Andre is staring at the floor, bobbing his head up and down, like he has a music player inside his brain, and there, like a perfectly chiseled marble statue, is Beck is sitting coolly in a seat by the window, arms crossed with his head leaning on his shoulder, the sunlight hitting his face at just the right angles. I feel so pathetic, eyeballing him from across the room like he's a piece of meat. Suddenly, I notice Tori isn't here. It's not like her to miss school.

"Jade!"

I jump at the sound of Sikowitz's voice. He clears his throat and points at me.

"Did you hear what I just said Missy?"

"Yea…err…no actually." I scratch my head. What's wrong with me lately?

"I _said_, everyone here will be paired for a group project. You and your partner will create a screen play with your own original content that must be at least 10 minutes long. You will perform it here at the school, in front of family and friends in the black box theatre. I'm giving you a month from today to hand me a copy of your screen play, and another two months for preparation…sets, costumes, all that jazz!"

Ugh, another group project. I hate people. I wish I could bury myself in a whole for the rest of the school year, just so I can be alone.

Robbie raises his hand high into the air.

"Will we get to choose our partners?"

"Absolutely not! Frankly I'm sick of seeing you guys always choose the same partners for group projects. The whole point of this activity is for everyone to come out from their comfort zone with someone they're not use to being paired with. In the real world, you're not always going to work with the same people. So I want to mix it up a bit."

I look at my watch. Class will be over in 5 minutes. I seriously consider leaving for the day to go home. I'm running on maybe 3 hours of sleep, and my mind is nowhere here. I start to gather my things as Sikowitz finishes his lecture.

"Okay, so here's who I'm going to pair up…" He looks around the room. I'm sitting on the edge of my chair begging quietly for him to hurry the fuck up. "Robbie with Brittney, Andre with Helena, um…oh, Cat with Leo…" I sigh loudly on purpose. I swear this man…. "Ahem…Beck with Olivia..." I watch Beck's face light up when he hears Olivia's name. Sikowitz is still naming pairs, but I ignore him. I switch my gaze to Olivia who is beaming just as bright. I make a mental note to fuck with her later. "Bill and Jarrod….and finally, Jade and Tori!"

"What?" The bell rings and kids are rushing out of the door. I rise slowly and watch as Beck and Olivia leave the room together, chatting away. When the classroom is finally empty, I stomp over to Sikowitz, who is starting to leave as well.

"I do not want to be paired with Vega." I sharply state. He looks at me with disappointment, and for a moment, I feel hurt. Sikowitz has never had such a serious look on his face before. He clears his throat again and sighs heavily.

"Look, Jade," he begins, his eyes narrowing as he thinks of what to say. "I know the past 3 weeks haven't been treating you so well, with…well you know-"

"Get to the point" I growl, folding my arms with raised eyebrows.

"Okay Okay" He says, putting his hands up in defense. "I'd figure that pairing you with Tori might, you know, perk you up a bit. I know you guys have some…issues with each other. But from what I've seen, Tori is a nice girl and does nothing but care about everyone, even you. Maybe spending some time with her with during this project will help you get over this bre-" I scowl at him fiercely, and he shudders back a bit "…_situation_ you're going through right now. Plus, you two never work together on anything."

I can do nothing but stare at him. I don't need Tori. I don't need anyone. I just want Beck back, but from what I saw today, it doesn't seem like I'm the least bit on his mind. I start chewing on my bottom lip to prevent a nasty onslaught of words from coming out of my mouth.

"What If I refuse to work with her."

He looks at me with that same expression of disappointment from just a moment ago. It's very rare that you see Sikowitz look like this. It's sort of scaring me now.

"Then I will have to fail you for this grading period, Jade. This is a major grade and if you refuse to do it, I will have to give you a zero."

I nod my head slowly. I defiantly do not want a zero, but I defiantly do not want to work with Tori either. I turn on my heels, arms still folded, and start walking out of the classroom without saying another word. I stare at my feet as I'm walking to my locker. The halls are already starting to get less populated as the bell for the next class is about to ring. I nonchalantly open my locker and I freeze. The urge to cry crashes on me like a 50 foot wave. I want to cry, but I can't. I've cried every day for the past 3 weeks at home, and I'd be damned if anyone saw me cry here at school. Beck and I have not spoken since that day at Tori's house. It's so god damn hard seeing him at school all the time. We have almost every class together and we sit at the same lunch table with Andre, Robbie Cat and Tori. You can just feel the awkwardness at the lunch table because neither of us says one word the entire time. I want to be near him, and I want to be so far away from him. I want him to touch me, I want to rip his fucking limbs apart. I want…I just want-

The bell rings almost too loudly. I gasp and realize I've been looking at the inside of my locker for the past 2 minutes, not grabbing or doing anything.

"Fuck it"

I grab the things I need from my locker and slam it shut. I pull out my car keys from my purse and quickly head to the school parking lot. I am not going to let myself fall apart at school again. Not like the first time Beck and I broke up, where I was found crying in the girl's bathroom on the floor. How pitiful, right? I find my car and quickly unlock it. I throw myself inside. I'm about to start the car when suddenly my phone vibrates in my pocket. I check it, and it's a text message from Cat.

"Where are youuuu? ."

I respond with "Going home" and throw the phone on the passenger chair and start my car. My knuckles turn white on the steering wheel as I make my way out of the parking lot. As soon as I can't see Hollywood Arts in my rear view mirror, I cry. I let it all out. The road is becoming blurry with tears and my makeup is running down my cheek, and I just don't care. I can hear my phone vibrate on the chair, but I don't check it. I am so absorbed in my own sadness, my reckless driving doesn't even phase me. I pass a few stop signs and red lights. I get a few honks and middle fingers. I don't even care if I get a ticket, or crash my car. At this point, both of those things sound better than thinking about Beck.

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**A/N: Oh gosh, I'm so nervous. Wah. I hope that it was okay to whoever is reading this. Review por favor! Yea...**


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

**/Tori/**

I don't think I've been so sick in my entire life. My nose is stuffy, my throat feels like it's on fire, and I'm sweating all over. I'm wrapped up in my purple bed sheets with a box of tissues in my lap. This is the first time I'm missing school since I started going to Hollywood Arts. I grab a tissue and blow my nose aggressively into it. Yuck. I look at my alarm clock that's sitting on my nightstand. 10:20am. I wonder what my friends are doing. I got a few texts from Andre and Cat earlier this morning asking where I was. I told them I was bed ridden with 101 degree fever. They both told me to get well and gosh, I really want to feel better. Although I do have to admit, it is kind of nice to lay in bed and do nothing. I've been so overwhelmed at school lately that my mind is in 20 different places. It's just too bad I feel like poop. Nonetheless, it's a circumstance that I just have to deal with if I want to at least try and enjoy my day at home.

About 20 minutes or so pass by before I finally decide to turn off my T.V. Even Spongebob can't make this girl feel any better. I crawl out of bed, struggling to walk to the stairs. I brace myself against the wall in the hallway. My body feels like it's going to break. I hold on the railing of the stairs and tackle each step with caution. I trip on the last step but manage to catch myself. If I didn't, I would have probably hit the floor with my face. A bloody nose would not look good on me.

The house is so quiet. It feels a bit weird not hearing Trina's obnoxious voice echoing throughout the entire house. She's my sister an all, but sometimes, perhaps most of the time, I want to seal her mouth shut with duct tape, but who doesn't?

I stagger in to the kitchen and get a glass of orange juice. My mother told me to drink as much orange juice as I can before she left for work, like it's supposed to help me get better. I can't say that it's helping any, but it doesn't hurt to drink it. Orange juice is delicious. I'm hungry, but I'm afraid to eat anything. Every part of my body, inside and out feels like it's against me, so eating something only to have it come back up does not sound so pleasant at the moment. I face the stairs again until I reach my room. I take a drink of juice and put the glass on my night stand. I roll back into bed and bury myself underneath the covers again. Just then my phone starts to ring. I expect it to be my mom or dad asking if I'm okay and to make sure I haven't burned the house down. I grab my phone from under my pillow. I practically turn my head sideways like a confused puppy when I notice the caller ID. I answer it hesitantly.

"He…hello?"

"Vega, it's Jade"

"Yes, I noticed on my phone before I answered." Why is she calling me? I am defiantly not in the mood for her comments or insults right now.

"Yea well, anyways. We have-...hey you sound like shit."

"I'm really sick for your information, but thank you so much for your kind words." I cough loudly into the phone. My chest and ribcage shake violently as an assault of graphic coughs thunder out of my mouth.

"Holy Hell Vega, don't cough into the phone, I might catch whatever disease you have."

"Jade, please. What do you want? And how are you even calling me? You're supposed to be in class."

I grab another tissue from my nightstand and blow my nose. I just want to go back to bed at this point.

"I ditched. But listen, we have a project to do in Sikowitz's class and he paired us together. So you better start feeling better soon. It's bad enough I'm going to have to be around you for the next 3 months and I don't want to do it when you're spreading your Tori germs everywhere."

I press the phone against my ear a little harder. Sikowitz paired us? Does he want us to fail? Great, just great. Not only am I coughing my brains out, but now I have to work with Jade West, the girl who just loves to watch me writher in pain.

"Don't sound too excited, Vega…" Jade says over the phone. I grunt unenthusiastically and scratch my head. I've worked with Jade in Sikowitz class before, but with a lot more people involved. Never has it been just us two having to…interact.

"What do we have to do?" I ask, less than excited.

"Write our own original screenplay, preform it in front of hundreds of people. Believe me Vega, I don't want to do this either, but our grade is on the line here."

"That sounds like soooo much fun." I say sarcastically. I rub my forehead. I can feel a massive headache coming over me. "Listen, Jade. I have to go. I am really not feeling good." Half of me is telling the truth, and maybe it's the sickness talking, but the other half of me just wants Jade to go away. "But thanks for calling to tell about the project."

"Yea, whatever" She hangs up quickly. I toss my phone near the edge of my bed. I lean back on my headboard and close my eyes. I begin to rub my temples with both hands. The pressure only slightly helps. My head feels like it's swelling up like a balloon and is on the edge of exploding. The thought of going outside for a walk crosses my mind for a brief second, then I remember the hassle of getting down stairs to the front door, and the idea swiftly leaves.

So, instead, I curl up into a ball and roll myself up in a cocoon with my bed sheets. I pull the sheets just below my nose so my eyes are just peeking out. Tears start to build up in my eyes. Not because I'm sad, but because I'm so freaking sick. I wipe away my watering eyes with my sheets, soaking them in sickly tears.

I lay in bed for a few minutes, thinking about the project I have to do with Jade. Maybe this whole thing doesn't sound like such a bad idea. I mean, I've always wanted Jade and I to be close friends, she just…never lets me in. She's always shutting me down with harsh words and cruel pranks. And yet, I'm always the one she go to when she's feeling depressed. The first time her and Beck broke up, she was standing at my doorstep, make up smudged and displaying the most miserable frown that would have broken the hardest of hearts. It was awkward at first, watching her cry on my couch and getting her eyeliner everywhere, but in the end I helped her win Beck back and she showed some gratitude. Even though she poured coffee on my head the first day I came to Hollywood Arts, I wanted to help her. I love helping people, even if they seem like they don't deserve it.

I turn over on my side. My headache seems to be subsiding as my thoughts run rapid.

Speaking of Jade and breakups, she seems to be taking this most recent break up extremely lightly. I haven't really spoken to Beck or Jade about it, seeing as it's none of my business, but Beck actually seems to be doing a lot better in general. He's smiling a lot more, he has a lot more pep, and he actually makes efforts to hang out with Robbie, Cat, Andre and myself more. Before, Jade had a short leash on him and did not like the idea of Beck hanging out with other people. Jade isn't the emotional mess like she was before. It disturbs me slightly that she's showing no reaction over this. Or maybe she's just hiding it really well, but like I said, it's none of my business.

I turn on my back, with my arms folding behind my head. I close my eyes and shut them securely. I think about ideas for the play I'm doing with Jade, and before I know it I drift peacefully to sleep.

**A/N: Okay, so yea. Second chapter. I wasn't sure when I should post it, seeing as I just posted chapter 1 like 2 days ago. But whatevers! Oh, and just a warning, this story does get pretty dark in future chapters. Hope you like that kind of stuff, if not, you should keep reading this anyways 'cause I love you. I mean, yea.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**/Jade/**

I'm sitting on the floor in my room, my back against the bed. I probably shouldn't have left school because now I am bored as hell. So far, I've listened to my favorite CD twice, cried, painted my nails, cried, sorted everything in my closet and drawers, cried, and even made my bed, which is a historical event by my book. I need to have some kind of entertainment before I go completely bonkers. I have my TV turned on, but I am definitely not paying attention.

I shift my body so I could lay down on the floor, my arms behind my head for support. I stare at my ceiling and analyze the band posters I have tacked to it. Bands that I haven't listened to in years, I just have the posters still up for decoration.

I look at my watch. 1.00pm. I realize that I have not eaten anything today. My stomach makes a loud rumbling noise, begging for food. I pat my tummy and tell it to "calm down". I get up from the floor and rush to the kitchen. I swing open the fridge door and find that there is no food whatsoever. My mom is never home. She works long hours so she rarely does any grocery shopping. I make a disapproving expression to the fridge and slam it shut. I check my wallet to see if I have any money, and of course, it's absolutely empty. I imagine a white moth flying out of my wallet like they do cartoons. I grin at the thought.

I walk back to my room and scoop up my phone from my bed. I think about calling Cat to bring me food, but their lunch is already over, and there's no way Cat would agree to skip class just to bring my fat ass tacos or something. I think of another solution, and dial Tori's number.

It takes forever for her to answer, but she finally picks up on the last ring when I'm about to hang up.

"Yes, Jade?" She mumbles. For a moment, I feel somewhat bad, bothering her again while she's sick as shit.

"I need food." Is all I say. She makes a harsh snort in the phone and then sneezes. Her sneeze sounded like a small kitten's. It was pathetically adorable, I must admit.

"Erm, hold on. I just got sneeze snot on my phone." I can hear her fumble with the phone. I can't help but roll my eyes impatiently.

"Okay, all gone. So, you woke me up from my nap to tell me you're hungry?"

"Do you have food in your house, Vega?"

She sighs loudly, "Yes, I do. Why are you-"

"I'm coming over." I cut her off and hang up hastily. I grab my car keys and hurry out the door. I don't have any money and I'm using a sick Tori for food. I am a goddamn saint.

I hop in my car and pull out of the driveway. My stomach makes another loud growl as I drive through the streets. "I'm going, I'm going".

My head is starting to pound from lack of nourishment. Also, I'm pretty sure life is against me right now, because I hit every red light on the way to Tori's house.

I finally pull into her street after what seemed like an eternity driving around. I park my car in front of her house and practically sprint to the front door. I knock a couple of times and wait. And wait. And wait some more. What's taking that girl so long? I knock again, hitting the door twice as hard as before, rattling the door frame. I hear a few clicks from the lock and it swings open.

Tori looks worse than I had imagined. She's in an oversized Hollywood Arts hoodie with baggy gray sweatpants, and her hair looks untamable. She's even lost a little color in her face.

"Whoa, so you_ can_ actually look worse than you normally do." I give her a smug look and weasel my way into her house. She closes the door shut and turns around to face me.

"Did you really drive all the way over here to steal food from my fridge?"

"Of course. Food that isn't yours always tastes better." I skip to the kitchen and start rummaging through her refrigerator like I've never seen food before in my entire life. She groans and falls lifelessly on the couch.

"Just…just don't make a mess. Please."

As soon as she says it, I drop a jar of grape jelly onto the floor, as if it was on cue. It shatters and purple jam flies everywhere. She jerks up and stares at me, eyes wide.

"JADE! What did I…oh man…." She flings her hands wildly into the air, like it's supposed to intimidate me.

"Yea…you probably want to clean this up" I stare at her, then at the floor, and then back to her. She rolls her eyes dramatically and falls back down on the couch.

"I'll clean it in a minute" She takes in a long, deep breath, "just get away from my kitchen before you make even more of a mess. I'll order pizza for you or something."

It makes me sick how incredibly nice she is sometimes, well, all the time. I'm the one who dropped the jar on the floor, and she's still going to clean it? Even when she's not feeling well? And she's buying me pizza?

"You're not going to beat me up for ruining your perfect white tiled floor?"

"Too sick to care at the moment, I'll beat you up later." Her lips curves ever so slightly in the corner of her mouth and a small smile creeps slowly on her face. Is she fantasizing beating me up? She has the nerve to think she'll win? I wrinkle my forehead, trying to come up with a witty insult but my mind goes blank. Instead, I prance over to where she is laying down and sit on the armrest of the couch.

"You know…" I begin, "That jelly is going to be a bitch to clean up." Tori nods her head in agreement and her smile turns into a frown. She doesn't look up and has her eyes focused the TV that's not even turned on. I initiate a plague of pokes to her head. Her lack of irritation concerns me. I stick my finger in her ear to try to get a rise out of her and I succeed. She slaps my hand away pretty hard. I stare at her obviously in shock. I didn't know she had that kind of strength, even while sick.

"I said I'll clean in la-"

"I'll do it Vega, calm down." I rub my hand where it's turning red from the vicious slap. She looks up at me, her face almost coming back to life with color.

"Really? You'll clean your own mess? You're so wonderful!" she shouts sarcastically.

"Don't make me hit you," I point an angry finger at her, "Just order that pizza, before I starve to death."

She gives me a thumbs up and heads upstairs. "Let me get some money my mom left for me." Her voice fades as she disappears in the hallway. I lift myself off of the armrest and enter the kitchen. I'm not entirely heartless. Tori offers to buy me pizza and I clean my own messes. That's how this works between us. I grab a wad of paper towels from the counter and damply wet them in the sink. I didn't realize exactly how much sticky, grape jelly got onto the floor until I squat carefully next to it, making sure I don't step near the glass. I stare at my opponent with much agony, thinking about ways I should go about this clean up. I place the napkins aside me and gingerly collect the sharp bits of broken glass. As I'm harvesting, my mind begins to stir up ridiculous thoughts and connections between the broken glass and the still recovering muscle that beats within my chest. I can't help but fall victim to the intense emotions that are boiling up inside me as I think about.

My mind and my heart sure do pick the best times to fuck with me. I begin to think about Beck, and what he might be doing at this exact moment. I wonder if he's chatting it up with any girls, maybe Olivia. The way I saw them talking to each other today, I wouldn't doubt that they are hitting it off so wonderfully. I pick up more broken glass, this time with more aggression. I don't even have to close my eyes to see his face. It's always there, right in front of my eyes, always taunting me, reminding me day after day that he's so close but yet so far. I can feel my cheeks begin to burn and my muscles tighten as I'm bombarded with depressing feelings caused by my lack of self-control. I almost have all of the glass off the floor when I realize my hand is becoming numb.

"JADE YOUR HAND!"

I jerk around, startled by Tori's screams. She's hovering over me, hands covering her mouth and eyes wide. I look at my hand that's been gathering the glass and notice that dark, red blood is running down my wrist from my palm and dripping onto the floor. I was so out of consciousness, that I couldn't even feel any pain in my hand as the glass dug its way into my skin. The growing anger inside my body must have completely taken over me, because I was very much unaware of my hand tightening its grip on the sharp glass.

"Oh…" I stutter dully. Tori throws herself on me, taking my wrist and giving it a light squeeze. The cool touch of her hand calms my body almost immediately. I let go of the blood covered glass and it clinks as it falls onto floor. I get a good look at my hand and see that there are deep cuts zigzagging across my palm and fingers.

"What, what were you thinking?" Tori says, her voice shaky. She pulls me up and grabs the napkins I had on the floor and places them gently on my palm. I still have this stupid expression on my face as I watch Tori scramble in the kitchen. She pulls out a first aid kit from a cabinet under the sink and leads me to the dining table, where she pulls out a chair for me and demands I sit down. As I'm slowly starting to come back to reality, the pain in my hand rises. It feels like there are a hundred tiny needles poking at the flesh of my hand. Tori sits down next to me and opens the first aid kit. There is genuine worry on her face. I study her as she cleans the cuts. It stings, a lot, but I maintain a cool composure.

"What's wrong with you? I know you preach about how you like pain, but geez I didn't think you meant it." Tori wraps my hand in a bandage. I don't even know how to respond to her statement, or if I should even respond at all. She's staring at me, expecting me to open my mouth and say something. What should I say? That I'm a complete train wreck? Do I let it show? No, not again. I look down at my lap and turn my face slightly, so she won't see my eyes. She tries to grab my shoulder, but I flinch away before she touches me. I don't want any sympathy from anyone, especially Tori, but I'd be damned if I said that I didn't _need _it. She tries again, this time grabbing my chin. The touch of Tori's hand calms me down for the second time, like she's using some sort of magic to control me. Her touch was so gentle that her fingers felt like feathers brushing against my skin. She turns my face towards her, our eyes meeting. I can feel the tears starting to swell up in my eyes the longer she stares at me.

"It's okay," She says, barley above a whisper. "You can cry."

And without thinking, I bury my face in her shoulder and cry my fucking eyes out.

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**A/N: I'm not too sure about this chapter…I feel like it still needs something. Anyway, tell me what YOU think about it!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Okay so. I haven't properly said my thanks to everyone who has left reviews. So….THANK YOU SO MUCH! This is my very first fanfic and I'm absolutely thrilled that people have left so many good things. It makes me so happy. I appreciate everyone who's read up to this point, and I hope to have you read till the very end! **

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Chapter 4

/Tori/

I'm holding the dark haired girl in my arms. Jade is crying, and she won't stop. She gasps for air through her continuous sobs and I feel like crying with her. I knew deep down inside that Jade was hurting. All this time she was putting up a front at school. I ponder at the thought, and conclude that she probably didn't want a herd of students (and some teachers) attacking her with over affectionate apologies and "it's going to be okay" hugs like the first time her and Beck broke up. Truthfully, I would get pretty sick of the pity party after a while too. Jade sniffles against my shoulder, most likely getting tears and wet boogers in my hair, but it doesn't bother me. Out of instinct, I rub her back with my hand. I expect her to push me away, but she doesn't. Instead, her crying starts to calm.

She breaks free from my light hold on her and takes in deep breaths. Her makeup is smudged and running down her cheeks. She attempts to wipe away the mascara with the back of her good hand, and only makes it worse, smearing it across the bridge of her nose. "Can…can I use your bathroom?" She mutters, through a broken voice. I nod, and watch her make her way up the stairs to the hallway. I look at my shoulder and see that there's a blob of tears and make up soaked into my hoodie. I'm not too troubled by it. Jade needed a shoulder to cry on and I gave her mine. I've always wanted to be someone Jade can come to whenever she needs help. Behind her harsh words she inflicts towards me, and everyone else, I see someone begging for help, someone who is just waiting for a kind face to pick up on her small hints. When I look at her exterior, so full of hate, I just imagine she uses it to hide some kind of pain, and I'm not even talking about the issues with Beck. There's no way someone could be so…cruel, without having a reason to be. Of course, I could be talking out of my butt here, and she's just naturally evil, but I doubt it. I don't want to think like everyone else does.

I hear footsteps from behind me. I turn my head and see Jade coming down the stairs, make up completely absent from her face. I catch myself gawking at her, my mouth slightly parted. I have never seen Jade West without any make up on. She's so naturally _beautiful. _I can see her light green eyes shine brighter than ever without all of that dark makeup surrounding her eyes and her face is just so radiant, it's almost blinding. She makes her way toward the dining table. I get up from my chair and walk speedily toward her. She stops in her tracks and stares down at her feet, fiddling with her fingers. I cup her cheek with my hand and bring her face slowly up. She narrows her eyes at me and twists her lips.

"What are you doing?" She asks with confusion in her eyes.

"I just wanted to make sure it was really you." I joke. I smile and she playfully pushes my hand away, smiling back at me.

"Very funny, Vega." She wipes her lips with the side of her fingers, as if she's trying to erase the smile lingering on her face. I frown at her actions. She's so pretty when she smiles. I wonder if she knows that.

"Umm…so…" I begin. Jade's eyebrows furrow, as if she knows what I am about to ask her. I silence myself at once and clear my throat. Maybe it isn't the best time to ask her what exactly happened minutes ago, so I quickly change the subject. "I got that pizza you wanted. I hope cheese is okay. I didn't know what kind you wanted." I smile weakly.

Jade's expression changes. She stares at me with dreamy, glowing green eyes and I can't help but get lost in them. "Good" she says breathlessly "but what about the mess? I didn't-"

I put my hand up, stopping her from saying anything else. "It's fine" I said, patting her shoulder. "I'll take care of it. Just relax, watch some TV or something." She looks remorseful. I assure her it's okay and lead her over to the couch. I turn on the TV for her and hand her the remote. She doesn't look at me but takes the remote anyway.

I walk over to the kitchen to begin the extreme clean up. It sort of looks like a murder took place in my kitchen. Grape Jelly, blood and broken glass is painted so gruesomely on the white tiled floor. I grab cleaning solution and a sponge from under the sink and get down on my hands and knees. I peek over where Jade is sitting. All I can see is the side of her face. She's staring at the TV like a zombie, face emotionless. I trace her profile delicately, examining every feature. It's very strange seeing her without any make up. A good strange I might add. I watch her meticulously as she catches a loose strand of hair and tucks it securely behind her ear. She made a small motion like that look so elegant. Suddenly, I am overwhelmed by a warm sensation surging throughout my body. My fever is coming back and it's hitting me hard. At least I think it's a fever. Without warning, Jade turns her gaze from the TV to me and we catch each other's eyes. For a fraction of a second, our eyes locked. Her eyes strike me in the chest with a small spark. I jerk my head almost too fast. Way to not look obvious, Tori. I turn my head back to the floor and pick up the blood covered glass. I grimace at the sight. How could she have not known she was hurting herself? What was going through her head? There are so many questions I want to ask her. So many answers I've always wanted to know about the mysterious dark haired girl, but if I want to keep this little bonding moment we are having, it's better if I don't ask anything at all.

It takes me quite some time to clean up. I wanted the floor to be completely spotless so it would look like nothing happened. I wipe the specks of sweat off my brow and upper lip. I have never scrubbed something so hard in my 17 years on this planet. I definitely got my exercise for the day. My nose is stuffy and I'm having a hard time breathing, and the smell of cleaning solution is making my head hurt. I wash my hands in the sink and then there's a knock on the door followed by the ring of the doorbell.

"I think that's the pizza!" I say in a singsong voice as a gallop toward the door. Jade re-positions herself on the couch, most likely startled by the abrupt noise level. It's been pretty much quiet up to this point. I threw a few more quick glances at Jade earlier, making sure she was still there. I mean, I knew she was, but I felt the need to check on her. We didn't meet each other's eyes again, but something inside me wanted her to see me. It would let her know that I truly do care about her. If she doesn't get that by now I don't know what else to do. I bought her pizza and wrapped her bloody hand for goodness sakes. I open the door and the acne faced pizza dude hands me my pizza. The smell of hot cheese quickly invades my senses. I give him the money and tell him to keep the change. He winks at me creepily and I slam the door in his face.

"Your pizza has arrived, my dear." I hold the pizza box high into the air, like I've just received a glorious trophy. Jade rolls her eyes at me.

"Why are you such a nerd?" She says. There's no hatred in her voice. I rather enjoy her voice when there's no malicious venom dripping off of every word. It's soft and smooth and pleasant to the ear. She lets a small chuckle escape her lips when I present the pizza to her on one knee like a proposal.

"At least I'm a cool nerd, right?" I'm trying very hard to keep her happy. I don't care if I am making myself look silly, or if she thinks I am the biggest nerd on this planet. She doesn't answer me, instead, she swipes the pizza box from my hands and set's it in her lap. She opens it and her green orbs widen in delight.

"Mmm, I love the smell of greasy cheese." She says. I grin at her as she takes a slice of pizza. The cheese dangles from the sides of the slice and she devours half of it in one bite. I plop myself next to her on the couch. The quality time Jade and I are having is really nice. It's very rare that anyone see's Jade with her walls down. In fact, I bet that even Beck hasn't seen a vulnerable Jade very much.

"Tori." She says quietly.

"Hmm?" I'm a little surprised to hear my actual name being said.

"Thanks for…uh…pizza, and for earlier too I guess."

Her pale face turns a blistering red. Pigs must have learned how to fly today, because Jade West said thank you, to me. There's a burst of energy inside of my core that felt like shattering ice and it courses through my veins. I plaster a big, stupid smirk on my face and Jade glares at me.

"Do not look at me like that Vega, it's freaking me out."

"Is this better?" I shoot out my tongue out and cross my eyes. Jade snorts through pressed lips, trying to restrain her laughter. I take advantage of this moment to grab my ears and stick them out as far as I can. She finally bursts into that laugh that I've been waiting to hear. She covers her face while she's smiling between chuckles. I wish she wouldn't do that.

"That shouldn't be so funny to me" She says as she wipes tears away from her eyes. "You look like that every day." I pucker my lips. I don't take it offensively at all. I can see in her eyes that she didn't say it to be offensive either. We are actually acting like friends. It's a moment I can't describe fully. It's almost blissful.

After our stomachs are full of gooey cheese, we start to watch Alice and Wonderland on TV. About 30 minutes into the movie, I hear very quiet snores. I look over at Jade, who is slumped over the armrest of the couch, fast asleep, lips slightly parted. "Jade?" I say lightly and touch her shoulder, but there's no reaction. She is out like a light. I certainly do not want to wake her. The day has been pretty rough on her, so she deserves some rest. I carefully get up from the couch and tip toe up the stairs to my room. I search my closet and grab a fleece blanket with Hello Kitty on it. I walk back downstairs and Jade is still sound asleep. I unfold the blanket and place it gently over her. A soft sound escapes her lips and she clutches the blanket to pull it up to her chin. I sit back down on the couch and turn off the TV. I watch her for a couple of minutes. Her chest moves up and down under the blanket as she breaths tenderly. Her eyebrows and body twitch occasionally. My face feels hot and I assume it's my fever coming back. I pinch the bridge of my nose and rub my forehead. I notice that my cheeks are on fire but the rest of my body isn't. I narrow my eyes and stare into space while I contemplate this feeling. I gather after much thinking that I am in fact_ blushing. _Earlier when I was cleaning, I was also blushing, but why? There's no way I could blush just from looking at Jade. I see her almost every day and I never get this feeling from just watching her. Then again, I've never actually _watched _her. I've never watched her when she smiles. I've never watched her when she moves. Her movements are so angelic even when it's just a small gesture like tangling her fingers in her hair. I gave her constant attention nonstop today, and I've noticed the little things about Jade that I have never noticed before. I lay my head back and yawn fiercely. I shouldn't be feeling tired, I've had more than enough sleep for the day. I'm sure that it's only because I'm emotionally drained. I'm just caught up in this vortex of emotions that today has caused. Yea, that's it. I mentally shake my head. I can't believe I am even thinking about Jade this way. She's in a fragile state and here I am blushing at her while she sleeps. I'm such a creep. I roll my head and look at Jade one more time before I close my eyes and force myself to fall asleep.

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**A/N: I'm sleepy. I can't believe it took me this long to finish this chapter. Anyways, thanks again to everyone who's reviewed. It makes me happy **


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**/Jade/**

I'm walking barefoot through a grey forest. The fog is thick, making every breath I take long and heavy. The naked tree's branches cast creepy shadows that stretch along the ground. There's a loud crunch with every new step I take. Leaves and twigs poke at my feet as they crumple under my weight. As I walk with no real direction, a small, old house appears in the distance. The second my eyes lock onto it, I'm hypnotized. Something tells me I shouldn't go near it but I'm being pulled by some invisible force.

My pace quickens as the house comes more into view. The windows are boarded up and there's a foul stench surrounding the area. I hesitate for a moment when I finally reach the stairs. They look like they would collapse at any given moment. I take a sharp breath before taking my chances. I tackle each step with urgency. I _have_ to be inside this house. The steps creak piercingly like cries of pain. I jump at the last step reaching the concrete porch. I look down and see…is that blood? There's a dark, red substance splattered all over the welcome mat. This _should_ tell my ass to run, but something has its grip on me and won't let me turn around. I grab the wobbly door handle and it's unlocked.

I open the door slightly and the smell of dust and mold invades my nostrils instantly. I peek inside but it's too dark to see anything. I swallow hard, and swing the door open all the way. The dim light from outside fills the room only slightly, but just enough for me to see the outlines of its contents.

"Jade."

A faint whisper fills the air. I shiver from my name being called. I look around, but no one is in the room. I find a small lamp on a dusty end table. With a low click, it miraculously turns on. It's a faint light but I can see everything now. Cobwebs hang from the corners of the room like drapes and you can hear the pitter patter of cockroaches scrambling away from the sudden disruption. I feel…somewhat at ease, being in here. I love creepy shit and this _is _creepy.

I take a few steps further into the room. I notice a small picture frame lying face down on the faded hardwood floor. I bend down to pick it up and turn it around. My eyes immediately grow to the size of half dollar coins. The glass is cracked and the image is faded. It's a picture of…me, and Beck... He's holding me by the waist, and staring into my eyes like I am the only thing keeping him alive, but I'm struggling to get away from him. Why haven't I seen this picture before? Better yet, why is it here? It's…such a sad photograph.

"Jade."

I jump. The mysterious voice is louder. I clutch the picture frame as I slowly tip toe in the direction of the voice. I come across a threshold where an eerie green light was peering along the corners.

I step closer and the light gets brighter.

I step again. I squint my eyes a little. Dots are starting to form in my eyes from the level of increasing brightness.

I take one more step, and now I'm completely blinded. I shut my eyes close but it's not enough, the light is still seeping through my eyelids. I bring my hands up to help shield my eyes from the fiery green light. I grit my teeth from how much pain I'm feeling not only in my eyes but from my entire body. I'm being burned alive, or that's what it feels like at least. I have a feeling that this is the end of my life…

I shoot open my eyes. I'm back in Tori's house. I look around for a few seconds, just to make sure I'm not still dreaming. I look down and see that I'm wrapped up in a soft pink blanket with a giant Hello Kitty staring back at me. It's disgustingly…cute. I hate it. Why is it on me? How long was I asleep? I look to my left and see Tori has her head on my shoulder and an arm locked across my waist, breathing softly through parted lips.

I shift slightly to try and escape her grip, but she only tightens her hold. I screw up my face and glare angrily at her. I'm about toss her on the floor but suddenly my phone rings in my pocket. With much struggle, I take out my phone and see that I have a text message and 3 missed calls from…my mom. Fuck

_Come home. Now. Got a call from HA about your absence._

_You're in trouble._

I did not intend to stay at Tori's for this long. I just wanted to steal some of her food and be home before my mom got off of work so I'd pick up the call about ditching school. Why is she even home this early anyway? I shove my phone back in my pocket.

"Tori, I have to go." I say, trying to gently wake her up. No response. "Tori get the fuck off." I feel bad having to use excessive force, but she wouldn't let go. I push her up by her shoulders. She mumbles something under her breath and drunkenly opens her eyes.

"What did you say Vega?"

"Hmm?" She yawns and rubs away the remaining sleep from her eyes. "Oh, I said you're a comfortable pillow." She says with a wide smile

I can feel a massive buildup of redness forming in my cheeks and the heat is radiating off my face already. I look away from her so she won't see my embarrassment.

"Aww, look who's blushing!" Tori grabs my cheeks and pinches them softly. I glare at her through half lidded eyes. She gently bobs my head from side to side and she has a certain sparkle in her eyes that I don't think I've ever seen before. I snap my teeth ferociously at her to get her to stop, but all she does is snicker and poke my nose.

"You don't scare me anymore, Ms. West." She crosses her arms and sticks her chin high into the air.

"But I live to scare you." I raise my hands like an attacking tiger and show my teeth. She shakes her head and intertwines her fingers in mine and brings my arms down slowly. I wince at the sudden pain in the middle of my hand that's wrapped in a bandage from her touch. I mentally question her actions. This kind of interaction is not normal, for us I mean. Tori must have seen the confusion darting back and forth in my eyes because her eyebrows bend over her nose and she let's go of my hands quickly. She opens her mouth to say something but looks down at her lap.

"Tori, what's-"My phone rings in my pocket. The caller ID makes me jump to my feet in a second. My mom is calling again. I don't answer. I can only imagine how livid she is. I strongly consider not going home at all. The last time my mom caught me skipping school she flipped shit. She took away my phone, my computer, and didn't let me hang out with Beck or go anywhere with my friends for a whole month. I was on complete lockdown. She was convinced that I was heading down the wrong path, that I might become a druggie because I skipped school for the first time in my entire life. I don't even want to think about what will happen to me now. You'll probably find me in the news tomorrow with the headline "Berserk Mom Strangles Her School Skipping Teen Daughter to Death."

"You're not going to answer it?" Tori's voice makes me snap back to reality. She's staring at me with a worried look and her head is cocked slightly to the side. The ringing stops

"I…I have to go…right now." I hastily fix my appearance and rush to the front door. I hear Tori shuffle to her feet behind me.

"Wait, Jade. What's wrong?" Her tone is serious. I have my hand on the doorknob but it swings open before I get a chance to. Trina is standing in the door way and looks at me like I'm a repulsive creature.

"Get out of my way weirdo." She pushes me aside with her elbow and marches her way up the stairs, her high heels clicking loudly against the floor. I would have pulled her hair out right then and there, but my mind is in a completely different universe. Tori catches my shoulder when I get one foot out the door and her touch sends a small zap down my back.

"Jade please, wait just a second." The quality of her voice is filled with desperation. I turn around to face her and catch her glittering brown eyes. I've seen this look before. This is the look of 'how am I going to fix this?'. It's the signature look of Tori Vega. I know I've been called a bitch, heartless, a cold blooded demon, but today, Tori saw me as something else. I let her see me broken and defeated. Of all people, Tori is the last person I ever wanted to see me with my walls down. I didn't want to give her a reason to use anything against me, even though I know that's not the person she is or ever will be. There's something about her that gave me all the more reason to be the way that I am. Maybe it's how she waltzed into Hollywood Arts for one goddamn day and made the entire school fall to their knees around her. It took me a while to make friends at school. Then again, the only reason why I even talk to Cat, Robbie or Andre is because of Beck. They were_ his_ friends. When we started to date, they were always around, so I was forced to participate in conversation with them. Not that I'm complaining, I'm grateful to have people who can care about me even after all the shit I give them. I know now that Tori is one of those people. She always was.

Tori catches a loose strand of hair that dangles over my nose and tucks it behind my ear. When her fingers make contact with the tip of my ear, that same burst of electricity that's been occurring after ever touch today travels down the side of my neck.

"Listen, Jade. I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything, okay? You're welcome here anytime." She smiles weakly. I nod to show my appreciation. I want to say thank you, but I can feel hot tears forming in my eyes and there is a lump that's forming in my throat that is preventing me to say anything. I turn on my heels and walk toward my car. It's a long walk, even though it's only a few steps. I can feel Tori's eyes watching me as I walk away. I hop in my car and slam the door shut. I put my keys in the ignition and the car thunders to life. I sit motionless for a minute, thinking about the chain of events that's ensued since I left Hollywood Arts this morning. I breathe in slowly through my nose and exhale out of my mouth. I look back at the front door of the Vega house, and Tori is still standing in the door way, leaning against the frame. She waves at me and I can see her smile beam from across the lawn. I turn back to the steering wheel and back the car out of the driveway with much anguish. With one final glance at Tori, I drive away.

About halfway to my house, my phone rings against my thigh in my pocket to inform me that I have a text message. I roll my eyes. It's probably my mother sending me another text to come home. I haven't been responding to any of the calls or texts she's been sending me. I really don't feel the need to. I pull up to a red light and wiggle against my seatbelt to get my phone out. Surprisingly, it's not my mom, it's from Tori. I open the text frantically. It's a simple text message, consisting of a makeshift heart made out of the less than symbol and a 3. For a while, I didn't get what the symbol meant or was. Cat explained it to me a couple of years ago that it's supposed to be a heart. I thought it was the dumbest thing in the world. Beck and…well, Cat sends them to me all the time through texts and Instant Messaging, and I see them all over The Slap. I vowed never to type one. It would ruin everything that I am. It's just so…girly. I sighed loudly and reply back to her message before the light turns green. I send her a less than 3.

**A/N: So a little longer update yea? Sorry! I went to Las Vegas for a few days and well…yea. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas right? Ahem. Anyway, reviews are always appreciated!**


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